tl;dr: Finally able to step back from my year of hell and take a deep breath, all I see is pandemic denial, the world on fire, and fascists getting bolder and bolder.
Thanks for writing this : both for your unflinching honesty and also the links out to a lot of useful information. It’s… I don’t know if ‘interesting,’ is the right word, but it’s Something that you mention the early symptoms of HIV infection. Both because this is something I did happen to know, because I am a queer man who, while too young to have lived through and been aware of the worst of the AIDS epidemic, I have made an effort to learn the history of my community (I think I will go to my grave in grief for all the queer elders I never got to meet). As well as because the response to Covid has at times felt to me like the response to HIV, and our current stage of “oh it’s fine now if we just don’t look at it” is just a repeat. I hope that means that despite mainstream denial, despite wide awareness or compassion, science will progress and we will be able to defend ourselves against Covid properly. Someday. I hope.
I can relate all too well to feeling unmoored as well; I am just shy of two decades younger than you, and I can’t really think directly about the state of the world within the rest of my lifetime for too long without launching into right proper panic. I try to find small moments of hope and autonomy amongst it all. I can’t do much, but I can do small things, and they may not actually make a difference in the grand scheme, but doing them keeps me from feeling hopeless and feeling complicit.
Anyway. This is all to say. I am glad to read your writing. I’m looking forward to what else you have to say.
"while too young to have lived through and been aware of the worst of the AIDS epidemic"
I'm not, though. And while I'm not a gay man (and not gay myself), I had many gay male friends in NYC in the 1990s, vividly recall the activism of the time (ACT-UP, etc), and thought myself to be pretty aware of the dangers of HIV and AIDS, and I still did not know what early HIV infection was like.
But I came along too late for the heights of the threats from polio and measles, so I have memory of my own of those... but it seems like even those who weren't too old have wiped those memories too. It's like we, as a society, deliberately forget. Ditto the 1918 flu. Early in this pandemic, when I started reading a bit about that, I wondered how that awful time can have been completely erased from our collective cultural memory. Now, seeing how people are already downplaying and ignoring Covid, it makes more sense. :-(
Though it may seem like it sometimes, you are far from alone. Despite industry obstructionism, climate awareness is growing and growing, and there are some of us who understand that Covid isn’t over and still mask everywhere. (And man, thank you for those mask links! The first store is on a huge 70% off sale--closing, sadly?--so I stocked up on some cute patterns that will make a nice change from plain black. And the masks from the HK store are just *gorgeous*.)
If climate news in your inbox is something you think you can tolerate, may I recommend the Heated Substack? Rage-inducing sometimes, but also deeply reported and a reminder that other people care and are working together to do something, and there’s always a cute pet chaser at the end. Sometimes it’s positive and empowering too--the latest issue was about noting the wealth of climate-aware content at SDCC.
Hang in there. Always glad to have your voice in the mix.
"The first store is on a huge 70% off sale--closing, sadly?--so I stocked up on some cute patterns"
I know! I just discovered them and they're closing! But I got a bunch of red masks, and starred ones, and paisley ones. And I've got a whole bunch of different designs from the South Korean site.
I'll look into Heated. I definitely do want climate news. Cutting myself off from information might help some people deal with the stress of it, but I find ignorance more anxiety-inducing.
"Hang in there. Always glad to have your voice in the mix."
So, FYI, Jess, Maskc isn't going out of business. They've had a change of ownership and are clearing out current stock to make way -- they say -- for new mask designs for autumn. Per email I just got, use code FLASHSALE for "up to 95% off". (The new owners have added some wellness supplements to the store that smell a bit like bullshit, but I'm ignoring that.)
I'm very curious to what new designs they're gonna have!
Oh, and I should say that I have no connection to Maskc, not an affiliate, I make no money from any sale and have not been paid to advertise the site. I just really like their masks.
hi MaryAnn,
Thanks for writing this : both for your unflinching honesty and also the links out to a lot of useful information. It’s… I don’t know if ‘interesting,’ is the right word, but it’s Something that you mention the early symptoms of HIV infection. Both because this is something I did happen to know, because I am a queer man who, while too young to have lived through and been aware of the worst of the AIDS epidemic, I have made an effort to learn the history of my community (I think I will go to my grave in grief for all the queer elders I never got to meet). As well as because the response to Covid has at times felt to me like the response to HIV, and our current stage of “oh it’s fine now if we just don’t look at it” is just a repeat. I hope that means that despite mainstream denial, despite wide awareness or compassion, science will progress and we will be able to defend ourselves against Covid properly. Someday. I hope.
I can relate all too well to feeling unmoored as well; I am just shy of two decades younger than you, and I can’t really think directly about the state of the world within the rest of my lifetime for too long without launching into right proper panic. I try to find small moments of hope and autonomy amongst it all. I can’t do much, but I can do small things, and they may not actually make a difference in the grand scheme, but doing them keeps me from feeling hopeless and feeling complicit.
Anyway. This is all to say. I am glad to read your writing. I’m looking forward to what else you have to say.
"while too young to have lived through and been aware of the worst of the AIDS epidemic"
I'm not, though. And while I'm not a gay man (and not gay myself), I had many gay male friends in NYC in the 1990s, vividly recall the activism of the time (ACT-UP, etc), and thought myself to be pretty aware of the dangers of HIV and AIDS, and I still did not know what early HIV infection was like.
But I came along too late for the heights of the threats from polio and measles, so I have memory of my own of those... but it seems like even those who weren't too old have wiped those memories too. It's like we, as a society, deliberately forget. Ditto the 1918 flu. Early in this pandemic, when I started reading a bit about that, I wondered how that awful time can have been completely erased from our collective cultural memory. Now, seeing how people are already downplaying and ignoring Covid, it makes more sense. :-(
Though it may seem like it sometimes, you are far from alone. Despite industry obstructionism, climate awareness is growing and growing, and there are some of us who understand that Covid isn’t over and still mask everywhere. (And man, thank you for those mask links! The first store is on a huge 70% off sale--closing, sadly?--so I stocked up on some cute patterns that will make a nice change from plain black. And the masks from the HK store are just *gorgeous*.)
If climate news in your inbox is something you think you can tolerate, may I recommend the Heated Substack? Rage-inducing sometimes, but also deeply reported and a reminder that other people care and are working together to do something, and there’s always a cute pet chaser at the end. Sometimes it’s positive and empowering too--the latest issue was about noting the wealth of climate-aware content at SDCC.
Hang in there. Always glad to have your voice in the mix.
"The first store is on a huge 70% off sale--closing, sadly?--so I stocked up on some cute patterns"
I know! I just discovered them and they're closing! But I got a bunch of red masks, and starred ones, and paisley ones. And I've got a whole bunch of different designs from the South Korean site.
I'll look into Heated. I definitely do want climate news. Cutting myself off from information might help some people deal with the stress of it, but I find ignorance more anxiety-inducing.
"Hang in there. Always glad to have your voice in the mix."
Thanks. I needed to hear that!
So, FYI, Jess, Maskc isn't going out of business. They've had a change of ownership and are clearing out current stock to make way -- they say -- for new mask designs for autumn. Per email I just got, use code FLASHSALE for "up to 95% off". (The new owners have added some wellness supplements to the store that smell a bit like bullshit, but I'm ignoring that.)
I'm very curious to what new designs they're gonna have!
Oh, and I should say that I have no connection to Maskc, not an affiliate, I make no money from any sale and have not been paid to advertise the site. I just really like their masks.